Mr Bateman’s Diary: Entry #02


Colin Bateman: Husband. Gardener. Free thinker. Shabab al-Nasr fan.

Sunday 26th April

Dear Diary,
Jolly interesting day today. Mrs Bateman had me get up early to crack on with some pruning I’d been putting off. (No, Diary, that wasn’t the interesting part. Far from it, in fact.) While I was trimming away – and long after mosque school had started, I might add – I encountered young Junayd and Ibrahim, the perennial latecomers, running up the street (young Ibrahim looks more and more bleary-eyed every time I see him. I do hope he’s getting enough sleep and not staying up all night watching
Match of the Day).
So, it being a long time since I’d had a good old chat with the Imam and Coach Saleem, I asked Junayd to pass on an invitation. Anyway, long story short: they all popped round later and informed me of a most intriguing development as regards the Victory Boys’ team… you won’t believe it, Diary… they’ve only gone and signed Zidane!!!
Well, OK, not that Zidane, but a very promising sounding young chap by the name of
Amir Zidane. (Interesting first name – I must look that up on the Internet and find out the meaning). I suppose the only possible problem might be: if he’s really that good, are the other boys’ places in the team secure? I wonder what they’re thinking about their new team-mate!
Sleep well Diary. I know I will, after all that pruning. Never again! Until the next time, anyway…
P.S. The Imam evidently hasn’t been using his time to brush up on his football knowledge. We were talking about transfers and someone mentioned the
Bosman Ruling. He asked, “Is this the same busman who Jossy Marino gets to park his bus in front of the goal in the Chelsea matches?” He said he’d heard about that on the radio and that he’d be happy to report other football news to us in future!
(Don’t give up your day job, Imam Munieb…)
Yours achingly (my sides, at least),

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