Archive for the ‘Mr Bateman’s Diary’ Category

Mr Bateman’s Diary: Entry #04

mrbateman

Colin Bateman: Husband. Gardener. Free thinker. Shabab al-Nasr fan.


Sunday 10th May


Dear Diary,
 
What a strange day. Only a week to go until the tournament, and Amir’s father drops a bombshell like that. I think the boys were all in shock, to be honest. This whole Amir episode really seems to have unsettled them. And I suppose, when you add the pressure of being the reigning champions, they’ve got it all on their shoulders at the moment.
 
Still, when you can take a free-kick like young Ali, you’ve always got a chance of being on the winning side! What a crackerjack his goal was! I can’t wait for next Sunday! I really hope the boys can do it again!
 
I just can’t shake this feeling that it might not go according to plan this time…
 
Yours apprehensively,
 
Colin

Mr Bateman’s Diary: Entry #03

mrbateman

Colin Bateman: Husband. Gardener. Free thinker. Shabab al-Nasr fan.


Sunday 3rd May
 

Dear Diary,
 
Today I saw a new star.
 
No, not in the sky – on the football pitch! The Prince has arrived!
 
Yes, Amir (‘
prince’ in Arabic, apparently) made his Shabab debut today and, my goodness, what a bag of tricks that lad is. I arrived just in time to see him score a brilliant goal, the first of… well, I don’t even know how many he scored in the end! Oh yes, there are a few boys looking a bit worried now (young Ibrahim, for one), with the tournament a couple of weeks away and the Prince putting in a performance like that.
 
Oh, and Diary, you’ll never guess what the boy’s last name is…
 
Zidane! (Did I mention that before?) Anyway, no wonder he’s a football genius, with a name like that!
 
Bring on the tournament!
 
Yours excitedly,
Colin

Mr Bateman’s Diary: Entry #02

mrbateman

Colin Bateman: Husband. Gardener. Free thinker. Shabab al-Nasr fan.

 
Sunday 26th April
 

Dear Diary,
 
Jolly interesting day today. Mrs Bateman had me get up early to crack on with some pruning I’d been putting off. (No, Diary, that wasn’t the interesting part. Far from it, in fact.) While I was trimming away – and long after mosque school had started, I might add – I encountered young Junayd and Ibrahim, the perennial latecomers, running up the street (young Ibrahim looks more and more bleary-eyed every time I see him. I do hope he’s getting enough sleep and not staying up all night watching
Match of the Day).
 
So, it being a long time since I’d had a good old chat with the Imam and Coach Saleem, I asked Junayd to pass on an invitation. Anyway, long story short: they all popped round later and informed me of a most intriguing development as regards the Victory Boys’ team… you won’t believe it, Diary… they’ve only gone and signed Zidane!!!
 
Well, OK, not that Zidane, but a very promising sounding young chap by the name of
Amir Zidane. (Interesting first name – I must look that up on the Internet and find out the meaning). I suppose the only possible problem might be: if he’s really that good, are the other boys’ places in the team secure? I wonder what they’re thinking about their new team-mate!
 
Sleep well Diary. I know I will, after all that pruning. Never again! Until the next time, anyway…
 
P.S. The Imam evidently hasn’t been using his time to brush up on his football knowledge. We were talking about transfers and someone mentioned the
Bosman Ruling. He asked, “Is this the same busman who Jossy Marino gets to park his bus in front of the goal in the Chelsea matches?” He said he’d heard about that on the radio and that he’d be happy to report other football news to us in future!
(Don’t give up your day job, Imam Munieb…)
 
Yours achingly (my sides, at least),
Colin

Mr Bateman’s Diary: Entry #01

mrbateman

Colin Bateman: Husband. Gardener. Free thinker. Shabab al-Nasr fan.

 
Friday 10th April
 

Dear Diary,
 
Goodness, what an exhausting day in the garden. I hope I never see another weed in my life. (Unlikely!) I’m getting too old for this, Diary. I’ve got muscles aching in places I didn’t know I had muscles.
 
I would have asked the Imam to lend a hand, but I knew he’d be particularly busy today, what with it being Friday. Perhaps I should ask a couple of the Victory Boys to come over and help me with my garden. It would certainly build up their strength, in preparation for the tournament – not long now! What a marvellous day that was last year, Diary. It all came together – must have been written, I think. I suppose the boys will be desperate to win it again this year, but I’m not sure those Sedgecombe Shuttles will let them get away with it a second time…
 
I can’t wait to find out though!
 
Yours creakingly,
Colin